Tuesday, March 07, 2006

难以言喻的心情

昨天是我的生日,今天却得知阿嬷逝世的消息。如果一个人的诞生意味着另一个死亡,生命何其无常,何其残酷!此刻的心情又怎能用言语形容?平时的我,一有难过的事,便很容易掉泪。直到今天,我才体会到,最大的伤痛原来是流不出眼泪的悲痛。虽然,阿嬷的死并非突然,我仍旧无法释怀地去面对它。明知道已经失去了,却无法接受这样的事实。所有的悲伤只能化做哽咽,伴着我,自责着我,侵蚀着我。我恨不得某个人可以重重地刮我一巴掌,让眼泪顺着刺痛滑落。或许,哭一场能感觉好一些。
一直以为,等我步入社会后,便可以好好地孝顺阿嬷和爸妈了。我甚至希望阿嬷能看着我结婚、组织自己的家庭。只不过,阿嬷再也等不到了。

2 comments:

jas said...

dear jes,

happy belated birthday. best wishes for u in the year ahead. but i'm sorry to hear about the news... hope ur family is coping well and dun be too sad. one day, we all have to leave. -hugz-

sorry that i din reply earlier. really busy with school, finally getting a week of spring break. phew... after all the paper-rushing, mugging...

v-dae was nice, thou of cos nothing beats having ur bf next to u. he sent me a card and flowers. if u din see, can check out one of my previous posts! (www.randomtots.com) that's long-dist for you. ah well. but at least i get to see him soon! flying over to his place to spend the one week break with him.

anyway, cheer up and take things one at a time. u can do it, girl. miss u guys back there. i'll be back for 2+ weeks over summer. hopefully we can meet up! take care!

Lavender Green said...

生日快乐!虽然是迟来的祝福,可是充满着诚意。人死不能复生,人生还漫长,走下去吧。由个人曾经告诉我,流泪是很逊的一件事。祝您能早日找到/拾回幸福和快乐。
你阿嬷在天之灵会非常欣慰的,因为她有个这么乖的孙女。
树欲静而风不息,子欲养而亲不在。回望过去,皆是悲。放下忧伤,走向未来。亲人虽然离开了,但他的灵魂和精神将永远留在回忆里。加油!