Just be myself!

在这个世界上，有太多人盲从地跟随，迷失了自己⋯⋯

I went to Miko's band concert that day. In order for petite me to get a full view of my equally petite sister, I had to sit at this corner, three rows from the front. She was there, sitting in the first row, looking poised though a little nervous. I always like to tease her, saying that she is Little Gandhi, but seriously she has the power and perseverance of Gandhi. Halfway through the 1st song, I was already moved to tears. Her fingers were running through the keys on her clarinet so fast, like they were not her own, like it was all automated! That moment I knew Miko is no longer the little timid sister who likes to hold my little finger when we go out shopping. I'm so proud of you, Miko!

I know my friends always think that I'm too bothered by the little details. Why do you get youself so involved in everything you do, they'd say. I'm just me. But what's wrong with getting myself involved if I can only live my life once. I just wanna live my life the way I want it to be, though it might mean immense pain and disappointment. But no pain, no gain right? It's all about choices.

Why must you always give politically-correct answers, my other friends would say. Honestly, I think "politically-correct" is not the word to describe me. I wasn't trying to be "politically-correct", I was just trying to feel more for the others. Why must we try so hard to conform to the norm? Why are we turning ourselves into self-centred, care less and indifferent robots? Just because it's the norm! Have it ever occur to you that the norm might not be the right? That's why I learn to trust my feelings. Because feelings don't lie. No matter how hard we try to be in self-denial, emotions will show, in one form or another.

Life is really about choices. We can all be our own DJs, playing the tunes which we love to hear. So don't ask why I'm so involved in everything I do, cos I just want to be myself! I want to live my life and not someone else's.

改变

我想我应该给你一点时间，而不是把你逼得那么紧，对不起，你该有你自我放逐的权利。。。道歉并不能改变什么，但我真的没恶意，只是不想失去你。或许我真的不该将自己的想法强加在别人的身上，毕竟每个人都有属于自己的思想空间。

我不是个勇敢的人，虽然我好努力地把自己伪装起来，但是三脚猫的演技总是一下子就被人戳破了。因为害怕伤心的感觉，我不喜欢离别，更讨厌改变。改变意味着三种可能性，一是锦上添花，二是没太大的改变，三是每况愈下。虽然只有33.3％的几率，还是不愿尝试改变，就因为害怕那改变所可能带来的更大的创伤。总觉得只要一切能维持现状，所有美好的一切便能永恒，我们都能开心地一直走下去。只不过，那只是我天真地以为罢了。讽刺的是，那却是我最讨厌自己，也最想改变的地方。

我们喜欢把自己的想法强加在别人的身上，特别是自己最亲近的人。老以为自己怎么想，别人也应当怎么想，但是我们不得不承认，那是个大错特错的想法，幼稚的想法。这个世界本来就是以改变为轴心而转动着。即使自己不变，周遭的人和事也会变。届时，与其拉扯着时间的尾巴，不如心平气和地缅怀过去。让他向前走吧，即使回头望也要带着微笑。这就是曾经拥有的苦与乐。

三三离开的那个凌晨

今天凌晨，三三搭飞机离开了。她将开始人生的另一段奇幻路程。我们说好了，要继续一起成长，即使相隔两地。三三是个很坚强的妹妹，有时候，她坚强地像个姐姐。昨晚，我一个人睡，突然觉得床好大，大得几乎将我淹没了。醒来时，房间里只有我一个人，很不习惯。每一个明天，都是个未知数。我们都害怕去面对人生的未知数，但如果老是在原地踏步，那么我们根本无法前进吧。所以，勇敢的踏出第一步吧。三三，要加油哦，二姐一定支持你！

前几天，突然心血来潮，想起爸爸哼过的一首歌。那是一首爸爸回忆里的歌。我替他找到了歌词，还替他翻译。一首词曲都写得很棒的英文老歌。

The Rose -Bette Midler

Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower, and you its only seed.
It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snow,
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the rose.

有人说，爱是一条能淹没脆弱芦苇的河流
有人说，爱是刀片，能割伤你的灵魂
有人说爱像饥饿，是一种永无止境的疼痛的渴望
我说爱，仿佛一朵盛开的花，而唯独你是花儿的种子

害怕心碎的人，永远无法体会心跳的感觉
害怕做梦的人，永远不懂得把握机会
不懂付出的人，永远不了解分享的喜悦
害怕死亡的灵魂 ，永远不懂生命的意义

当深夜太寂寞，而路途太漫长的时候
你或许会以为，只有幸运与坚强的人才能拥有爱情
但只要记得寒冬时的深雪底下
埋着一颗爱的种子，经过阳光的滋养，在春天将盛开成一朵玫瑰